Jedi come to Earth
by illogicalstar
Summary: When the Jedi, some senators, and sith come to Earth, they are in for a HUGE surprise. Lots of mayhem, joy riding, fighting, singing, gay jedi moments, and dancing. Anakin falls in love, Padme kills, Yoda gets drunk, Obi wan goes insane.please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one- The Jedi

It was a rainy day in west London; people were running around trying to get out of the rain, the dogs were running around chasing cats and birds were resting in their trees and in their nests. Many families were getting back from church; Olivia, Linzi and Adrianna were three of those people coming back.

Olivia Burton was the youngest step daughter of Tim Burton and daughter of Isabel Lima, When she were born she had heavy cream like skin, brown hair with blonde and auburn highlights, and had stunning eyes, they were striking baby blue at birth and went to turquoise at the age of 6 months. Linzi was the only daughter of Hayden Christensen and Alicia Harrison.

Adriana Lima was Olivia's best friend and a fellow Victoria's secret model and was also in a band with her.

Olivia bought a house in the English country side, near "Beckingham palace," it was a brick house with 50 bedrooms, a 100 foot pool, a tennis court, a soccer field, a recording studio, three guest houses, three movie theaters, a big room that has all of Olivia's awards, her favorite piano, and a bunch of modeling pictures in it. Two stables, three kitchens; one upstairs and one on the main floor. The house has a basketball court, three tree houses, state of the art security, three marble sculptures in the back yard, an outdoor pool, three libraries, a heated underground garage, three gazebos, a gym, a salon, four bars, 21 fireplaces and a smoking/music room for the guys.

Olivia, Linzi and Adriana had just moved into the house about a day ago and were still packing things into the house. Adriana and Linzi had just come back from feeding the horses when they heard Olivia scream in surprise. They both ran into the living room and asked Olivia what was wrong, she pointed in the direction of the TV.

"Um guys" Olivia said pointing at the direction of the stunned Jedi knights, rebels, senators and sith.

"Oh my god!" exclaimed Linzi, her eyes searching the faces of the two Obi wans

"How did you guys get in here?"

"Uh, I don't know obi wan and I were sparring and there was this blinding white light." answered padawan Anakin.

"oh." answered Adriana.

"Who are you?" asked Anakin peering at Olivia.

"I'm Olivia, this is my cousin Adriana, and my best friend Linzi." answered Olivia, smiling at knight Anakin.

"And uh we know who you are." said Linzi

"How?" asked older knight Anakin

"Uh well, it's a long story." answered Adriana sitting down in her favorite chair.

"We have time." said Han Solo smirking

"Yeah, uh Linzi you wanna explain while I call Jess and Angie?" asked Adriana walking toward the phone.

"sure." answered Linzi.

"I'll make some tea." Olivia announced. "Anyone want some?"

"Oh yes please." answered Linzi. "You better make enough for all of us."

"I have a question." said younger obi wan. "How old are you?"

"Well, Olivia is 16, I'm 17 and Adriana is 18." answered Linzi

"You live here, you bought this place?" asked Padawan Anakin gazing around the living room. "Its way too big!"

"Yes I did." said Olivia peeking her head from the kitchen.

"wow." said Luke.

"How many rooms are in this place." asked Padme looking around.

"About 50 bedrooms, Livi and Adriana will give you a tour." said Linzi.

"How much did this cost?" asked Luke

"20.8 million pounds." answered Linzi.

"Jess and Angie are coming over, they'll be here in about an hour." said Adriana

Olivia and Adriana gave the Star wars characters the tour of their house and their property. Upon seeing the playground Padawan Anakin ran over to it and jumped on the bars and started playing on them. Padme was in love with the Indian themed bedroom and the fireplaces. They continued showing them the house and showed them the stable with the horses and ponies. Younger Obi wan was amazed because he had never seen a house with this much in it. Knight Anakin asked why they needed all of this and Adriana answered by saying that Olivia had bought the house with all of the things inside it...

When they got back Jess and Angie were there.


	2. The Phantom Menace

Chapter 2-The Phantom Menace

"I wanna watch a movie!" exclaimed Jess, jumping up and down after they all ate some dinner.

"What's a movie?" asked Padawan Anakin

"It's just like Holo net." exclaimed Jess

"Fine jess, what movie?" asked Olivia

"STAR WARS!" exclaimed Jess, giggling evilly.

"No jess. No." answered Linzi, snatching the "Phantom Menace" from her hand.

"What! I wanna see it!" said Jess

"What movie is this?" asked Padawan Obi wan

"The Phantom Menace, it's a great movie! People die and there's pod racing!" exclaimed Jess. Linzi sighed and looked at Olivia, who smiled and nodded.

"What is it about?" asked Padawan Obi wan

"Hm, well it's the first in the prequels." answered Jess.

"If we tell you anything else we might ruin the movie for you."

"Okay. Uh let's watch it then." said Leia

Jess put in the movie and sat down next to Leia and Han. the movie started and she started singing along with the theme song. The first scene opens up with Obi wan and Qui gon.

"oh good god that's us!" exclaimed Padawan Obi wan.

"do I really look like that?"

"Shut up Obi wan." said Jess rolling her eyes. There was some snickering in the background.

They continued to watch the movie in silence. Some parts Han, both Anakins snickered at.

**Jar Jar:** Ooh moi moi I love you!

"Sick! Who the Hell would want THAT thing all over you!"

**Qui gon: **You almost got us killed! Are you brainless?

"He is brainless!" said Maul, receiving a few glares from everyone.

**Jar jar: **I speck!

"Not very well!" said Maul laughing.

**Qui gon: **The ability to speak does not make you intelligent. Now get out of here.

"Well that's not very nice." exclaimed Leia looking at Qui gon and shaking her head.

They continued to watch the movie in silence.

**Anakin:** Are you an angel?

**Padme:** what?

"Aww how cute. Its so cute it makes me want to vomit." said Darth Maul snickering.

**Anakin:** An angel. I've heard the deep space pilots talk about them. They live on the moons of Iego, I think. They're the most beautiful creatures in the universe.

"How pathetic." said Darth Maul snickering.

**Padme:** You're a funny little boy. How do you know so much?

"Shut up Maul. Don't say anything." said Jess, sticking out her tongue at Maul and receiving a glare.

**Anakin: **I listen to all the traders and star pilots who come through here. I'm a pilot, you know, and someday I'm going to fly away from this place.

"This is Pathetic."

They continued watching the movie. Darth Maul and Obi wan start fighting and Obi wan cuts him in half.

**Qui gon: **_mumbles, as Obi-Wan sits him up after battle with Darth Maul_ Uhh, it's too late, it...

"Did you see that? I won!" exclaimed Padawan Obi wan jumping up and down.

"I'm dying obi wan. don't you care?" asked Qui gon.

"I WON!" exclaimed Padawan Obi wan, ignoring Qui gon.

"Gosh this is depressing." said Leia grabbing a tissue and blowing her nose.

**Obi wan: **No!

**Qui gon:** Obi-Wan, promise... Promise me you will train the boy.

"And he'll end up killing you." said Maul snickering. Jess rolled her eyes at Maul and hit him on the head with the remote.

**Obi wan:** Yes, master.

"Well, this is boring."

**Qui gon:** _wiping a tear from Obi-Wan's right cheek_ He is the chosen one. He will bring balance. Train him.  
_Obi wan_ _nods, cries over Qui-Gon Jinn's body_

They finish the movie.

"Well that was depressing." said Qui gon.

"I wanna see that part Again!" exclaimed Padawan Obi wan.

"NO!" shouted everyone in unison.

"do you want to watch the Attack of the Clones?" asked Linzi.

"Yes, please. I need a happier movie." said Qui gon.


	3. Attack of the Clones

Chapter 3- Attack of the Clones.

"This is Attack of the Clones and Maul, there is some romance. so get over it!" exclaimed Jess putting in the movie and earning a glare from Maul. they started watching the movie.

**Obi wan: **What took you so long?

**Anakin: **Well, you know, Master, I couldn't find a speeder that I really liked...

"Aw, would you look at that little Ani's all grown up." said Maul snickering.

"And Obi wan has become ugly."

**Obi wan:** There he is.

**Anakin:** with an open cockpit and the right speed capabilities.

**Obi wan:** If you spent as much time practicing your saber techniques as you did your wit, you'd rival Master Yoda as a swordsman.

**Anakin:** I thought I already did

"That would be the day." said Maul snickering

**Obi wan:** Only in your mind, my very young apprentice.

They continue watching the movie.

**Elan Sleazebaggano**: You wanna buy some death sticks?

"Yes you do Obi" said Maul snickering  
**Obi-Wan**: _using the Jedi mind trick_ you don't want to sell me death sticks.  
**Elan Sleazebaggano**: I don't want to sell you death sticks.  
**Obi-Wan**: You want to go home and rethink your life.

"What life?" asked Maul smirking.  
**Elan Sleazebaggano**: I want to go home and rethink my life.

"Riight." said Leia snickering.

They continue watching the movie in silence. Some parts Maul and Padawan Anakin speak their mind, but they get hit on the head with the remote control.

_Anakin and Padme are about to be carted into the arena_  
**Anakin**: Don't be afraid.  
**Padme**: I'm not afraid to die. I've been dying a little bit each day since you came back into my life.

"Good god. I'm going to vomit." said Maul.  
**Anakin**: What are you talking about?  
**Padme**: I love you.

"I'm going to vomit." said Padawan Obi wan  
**Anakin**: You love me? I thought we had decided not to fall in love. That we'd be forced to live a lie and that it would destroy our lives.

"Wow, this is so romantic." said Leia sighing.  
**Padme**: I think our lives are about to be destroyed anyway. I truly... deeply... love you and before we die I want you to know.

(They Kiss)

"SICK!" exclaimed Maul, Padawan Obi wan, the younglings, younger Anakin.

"Aww!" exclaimed Leia, Olivia, Jess, and Adriana.

Anakin and Padme get married and Maul vomits (in the bathroom) Knight Anakin and Padme smiled and Vader smiled under his mask.

"Okay lets watch Revenge of the Sith"

"Finally a movie that sounds cool." said Maul.

"Riiiiight" said Padawan Anakin smirking

"Anakin, I wouldn't be talking or smirking" said Jess

"What happens!" asked Knight Anakin.

"That'll be ruining the whole movie Anakin." answered Olivia.

"I wanna know." whined Knight Anakin.

"Aww you're so cute when you whine." said Olivia giggling

"You're sexy when you smile." said Padawans Anakin and Obi wan.

"Thank you boys." Olivia said giggling.

Jess rolled her eyes and put in the movie.


	4. ROTS and Anakin has a problem

Chapter 4- Revenge of the Sith

Jess puts in the movie and they started watching it.

**Anakin Skywalker**: You are so... beautiful.

"God I'm going to vomit again." said Maul

"Shut up Maul." answered Leia  
**Senator Amidala**: It's only because I'm so in love.

"With a douche bag." said Maul snickering  
**Anakin Skywalker**: No, it's because I'm so in love with you.

"More like in lust."   
**Senator Amidala**: So love has blinded you?

"Most likely."  
**Anakin Skywalker**: _laughs_ Well, that's not exactly what I meant.

"Yes it was." said maul  
**Senator Amidala**: But it's probably true.

"No shit Sherlock." said Maul snickering and earning a glare from Padme, both Anakins, Olivia and Adrianna.

Anakin has his nightmare and he gets out of bed shirtless, and walks out of the bedroom.

Jess pauses the movie and sighs.

"Jess please don't do this." said Linzi sighing. she received a glare from Jess.

They continued watching the movie in silence.

**Mace Windu**: You are under arrest, my Lord.   
**Darth Sidious**: _to Anakin_ Anakin, I told you it would come to this! I was right! The Jedi are taking over!

"no they're not" said Padawan Obi wan  
**Mace Windu**: The oppression of the Sith will never return. You have lost.  
**Darth Sidious**: No. No, no YOU will die!

"die mother effer!" said maul laughing  
_sends Force lightning at Windu, who blocks it and forces it back into Sidious's face_  
**Darth Sidious**: He's a traitor!  
**Mace Windu**: HE is the traitor, ahhh!  
**Darth Sidious**: I have the power to save the ones you love! You must choose!  
**Mace Windu**: Don't listen to him, Anakin! Ahhh!   
**Darth Sidious**: Don't let him kill me!

"Die!" said Leia snickering  
_continues to be electrocuted_  
**Darth Sidious**: I - I can't hold on any longer... I'm... weak... I'm too weak.  
_lightning stops, his face deformed_  
**Darth Sidious**: Help me, Anakin! Help me! I can't hold on any longer.  
**Mace Windu**: I'm going to end this, once and for all!  
**Anakin Skywalker**: You can't. He must stand trial!

"yes he must." said Maul  
**Mace Windu**: He has control of the Senate and the Courts! He's too dangerous to be kept alive!  
**Darth Sidious**: I'm too weak. Oh, don't kill me.

"What ever, you're fine. You old saggy man" said Leia snickering.  
**Anakin Skywalker**: He must live!  
**Darth Sidious**: _Windu raises his saber_ Please don't!  
**Anakin Skywalker**: I need him!  
**Darth Sidious**: Please don't!  
**Anakin Skywalker**: _Windu moves to kill Sidious. Anakin ignites his lightsabre_ NOO!

"Oh snap!" said Leia  
**Mace Windu**: _Anakin slices off Windu's hand_

"This is good!" said Maul  
**Darth Sidious**: _sits up and unleashes Force Lightning on Windu_ POWER!

"POWER!"  
**Mace Windu**: _continues to be electrocuted_

"Die Windbag die!" said Padawan Anakin snickering  
**Darth Sidious**: UNLIMITED POWER!  
**Mace Windu**: _the lightning becomes too much for Windu and he is thrown from a window and into the cityscape below_  
**Darth Sidious**: _sits back_ Ah.

"Oh snap! Daddy what did you do!" exclaimed Leia  
**Anakin Skywalker**: What have I done?

"Wow" said Luke

They continue to watch the movie. Anakin and the storm troopers begin the killing spree at the Jedi temple.

"So that's what happened?" Luke asked looking over at his father.

"Yeah, pretty much." answered Olivia.

**Jedi Youngling**: _a group of younglings are discovered by Anakin_ Master Skywalker! There are too many troops! What should we do?  
_Anakin ignites his lightsaber and raises it to strike_

"Oh my god!" exclaimed Padme and Leia.

"That's so sad!"

"Man even I didn't stoop that low and kill poor little jedi younglings. Anakin you should be ashamed of yourself." said Maul.

They continue to watch the movie in silence. Maul occasionally says something, the women are sniffling, they are still sad about the killing of the innocent children.

"Geez its getting darker." said Padawan Obi wan

**Senator Amidala**: You're a good person, don't do this.  
**Anakin Skywalker**: I'm doing this for you, to protect you.  
**Senator Amidala**: _crying_ Anakin... You're breaking my heart. You're going down a path I can't follow.  
**Anakin Skywalker**: Because of Obi-Wan?

"no you dip shit she loves you. and she's worried about you." maul said  
**Senator Amidala**: _crying_ Because of what you've done, what you plan to do. Stop. Stop now. Come back!   
_shouts_  
**Senator Amidala**: I love you!

"yes she does. with all her heart."  
**Anakin Skywalker**: _sees Obi-Wan staring back at him_ Liar!

"She's not lying!" said Leia  
**Senator Amidala**: No!  
**Anakin Skywalker**: You're with him! You brought him here to kill me!

"What a dumb ass"  
**Senator Amidala**: _Anakin uses the Force to choke Padme_ No!

Everyone gasps and looks at Anakin, Anakin just shrugs.

**Obi-Wan**: Let her go, Anakin!. Let her go.

"damn Ani" said Qui gon  
_Anakin releases her_  
**Anakin Skywalker**: You turned her against me!   
**Obi-Wan**: You have done that yourself.  
**Anakin Skywalker**: You will not take her from me!   
**Obi-Wan**: Your anger and your lust for power have already done that... You have allowed this dark lord to twist your mind until now you have become the very thing you swore to destroy.  
**Anakin Skywalker**: Don't lecture me Obi-Wan. I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the dark side as you do... I have peace, freedom and justice to my new Empire.

"and this is Darth Vader speaking."  
**Obi-Wan**: You're new Empire!

"Yep"  
**Anakin Skywalker**: Don't make me kill you.

"Yeah right, like Skywalker could kill Kenobi."  
**Obi-Wan**: Anakin... My allegiance is to the republic, to democracy!

"Democracy my ass." maul said snickering.  
**Anakin Skywalker**: If you're not with me, then you are my enemy.  
**Obi-Wan**: Only a Sith deals in absolutes.  
_Obi-Wan pulls out his light saber_  
**Obi-Wan**: I will do what I must.  
**Anakin Skywalker**: You will try.  
_Both Obi-wan and Anakin duel to the death_

"This is so great we're watching two sexy Jedi knights she swoons fighting to the death. Wow" she swoons again says Padme. Everyone looks at her surprised.

They continue to watch the fight in silence until Obi wan slices off Anakin's legs and arm and bursts into flames.

"Gah, what the hell?" said Padawan Anakin cringing.

"That's what happens to you when you turn to the dark side of the force." Jess said looking at both Anakins and Darth Vader.

They continue watching the movie in silence, the girls cry at the funeral of Padme.

"Wow that was a depressing movie." said Han, Chewie growled because he agreed.

"Now I know what happened to our parents." said Leia looking at her mom and dad.

It was late and they had to go to bed. Olivia was getting ready for bed when Knight Anakin walked in.

"Hey Anakin, what can I do for you?" asked Olivia smiling.

"I can't sleep, disturbing images. Can I stay with you?" asked Anakin.

"Poor you, sure." answered Olivia smiling.

They got into bed and Olivia turned off the lights. They then fell into a deep sleep.


End file.
